Written 2 months ago by Angel Croitor

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Evelyn Wakefield spoke to Will Faulkner on Midlands Today about Palliative Care and what it’s really there to do.

“Mummys not dying at the moment – but should the situation change at any stage you will be the first to know.”

Evelyn’s 12 year old son believed that a Hospice is the place where ‘you go to die’ but contrary to popular belief Evelyn informs us, as she did her child, that there is more to palliative care than preparing or comforting people into their final months.

She was diagnosed with stage four breast cancer in 2014 and was told at best she is looking at two and a half years to live. Three and a half years later and here she sits talking to us at Midlands 103.

Her mobility started to reduce in February 2016 when she started to feel increased pain and ended up in bed 18-19 hours per day – seeing her in person you wouldn’t think so as her personality comes off as bubbly and radiating with positivity.

“Palliative care managed my drugs – over time your body gets used to it and needs it and you have to get on – I have two young children.”

Evelyn’s perception of palliative care was the ‘end of life’ treatment that is widely associated with hospices. She thought that if she didn’t accept palliative care that she could’ve delayed accepting the end that bit longer – she tells us the fault in her logic is apparent now but wasn’t so back then.

Her perception of palliative care was like that of a nursing home or primary school where there was going to be a recommended schedule administered by her palliative nurse and that it would all be very clinical – but it wasn’t so.

Over a period of three months Evelyn could see incremental improvements in her quality of life. One day Evelyn found herself wide awake, showered, dressed, eating breakfast and about to do the day’s laundry and she felt more normal after being given her diagnosis months back.

Her care plan differs from what palliative care may be for someone else. It is catered to everyone’s needs regarding their health, mobility, mental health, and whatever you are limited from doing for yourself and your family.

A large part of her care was the psychological and emotional support that her palliative care team offered her. Sometimes you dont want to burden your family with particular issues so that’s where the team come in and you can communicate the issues that you are dealing with.

“They were like ‘be careful of what you ask your husband to do and be careful what you expect of your children’ – should they not graduate from college and they happen to find it (the card) and they feel like their mum down – it was just little things like that.’

Leaving behind mementos for her children’s future was something Evelyn had considered greatly but was advised that leaving behind specific gifts or cards for graduation, marriage, etc. would end up having a negative connotation should the children not graduate.

It is little things like this and forethought from the palliative team that have helped Evelyn gain her confidence and normality back in her life.

 

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