Written 5 days ago by Angel Croitor

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Anne Clarke, development manager with Offaly Domestic Violence Support Services, spoke to Will Faulkner on Midlands Today about sexual abuse in the family home.

The case in point was the terrible story of the Maguire family and what they experienced first hand as their father abused their mother to the point of death. He is finally behind bars and justice has been served but Jade urged victims of domestic abuse to seek help immediately.

“Somebody that’s in a domestic violence relationship and they try to leave – when they do leave it becomes the most serious times when their lives are at risk – my advice would be to contact a family friend, a family member, or a domestic violence support service.”

Anne informs us that the services can help you by putting a safety plan in place for you to ensure that you’re safe from the perpetrator through the courts. She says a safety plan is of the utmost importance when you decide to leave.

What can you do the first time you realise you want to get out? Anne says that it may not be easy the first time as the perpetrator may rouse you back with promises of change and that they’ll get help for their problems. Most people are so in love with the abuser that they are quick to give them the benefit of the doubt and think that there are problems with the person rather than the person being the problem.

“Much more factors are taking place – its not just about domestic violence, you could have financial abuse, where does she go, how does she access support – there’s a lot of other complex issues before the woman decides to leave.”

Anne tells us that 7 out of 10 sexual assaults that happen are by an intimate partner the victim is in a relationship with. She tells us where you have domestic violence you almost always have sexual violence as part of the abuse.

“There are other forms of sexual violence – withholding sexual intimacy, forcing an intimate partner to have sex when they dont want to, the perpetrator might have sex with their partner when the partner is asleep – there’s a myriad of other sexual assaults that happen within a relationship.”

We ask where the line is drawn between playful coaxing between two intimate partners and manipulation into sexual intercourse.

Anne states that if there is emotional or psychological coersion into having sex – that’s where the line is crossed. By disregarding consent and manipulating the partner into having sex. Just because someone agrees to having sex to keep the peace or to appease someone who might make life more difficult doesn’t mean it is consent.

How do you tell if someone else is being abused sexually, be it mental or physically, from the outside? If you have any knowledge of the abuse, whether it stems from visible bruises or through confinement from the victim, you can help by contacting the domestic violence support services.

You do not have to suffer a life of domestic violence, sexual assault in the home, or mental abuse from a partner. There is help out there and there is a way out.

What Would You Do: https://goo.gl/yQHo9q

Offaly Domestic Violence Support Services (ODVSS): https://www.odvss.ie/

 

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